i cried and will was amazingly wonderful, as he always is and reminded me that because he has such great credit he'd be able to get all sorts of amazing loans and credit cards to bring our baby home. i smile just thinking about it.
it's like ever since he had brain surgery, nothing seems like too big of a challenge to him anymore. i think i felt that way when i lost my right ovary in 1996. for a while i felt like no challenge was too great, no hurdle was too large - that we could not handle it with ease. thankfully he is the motivator now. i just get so upset when i think about the expense of adopting a baby. it's not like we would not be willing to give everything we have and everything we could ever dream of to have a baby to love, but i just wonder why infertile couples have to pay such a price.
we've already handled the grief of being told at the age of 19 that i'd possibly never be able to become pregnant after the diagnosis of PCOS and the loss of the cyst consumed ovary, we've already handled the disappointment of our first miscarriage in 2004, we've already been devastated by the second miscarriage in 2008 and it having to end in a d&c, we've already been wrecked with heart break when i ended up in the er after our first infertility treatment, we've already dealt with will's chiari and brain surgery and the knowledge that his condition may be hereditary - we've dealt with all of that. so why is it now that we also have to figure out how we are going to come up with 40K to afford a baby to have the honor of loving, caring for, and raising?
i'm thankful for all of the adoption blogs out there that provide such solace when i'm an obsessed crying fool, i'm thankful for my family who is always there with love and support when i call, i'm thankful for my husband who - through this all is always supportive, understanding, and on the same page, and most of all i'm thankful that i know that GOD has a plan for us - a plan that