Thursday, September 27, 2012


we've been looking forward to our annual family vacation since we booked it this spring.  even though it seemed like light years away back then, it's suddenly upon us within 48 hours.  i went to lunch with some friends this week and they sarcastically asked me if i was packed.  then they all laughed because they know i am a last minute packer.  in just about every other segment of my life i am a planner, but for some reason when it comes to packing to go anywhere - i will wait until the last possible minute to make the list, wash the clothes, pack said clothes, and get things into the car.  it probably all stems back to my childhood. 

it seems like we were always late getting on the road because we were still packing.  see, a family with three girls who all had their own suitcases and their own priorities was a pretty difficult thing to coordinate.  i think that i probably always had my jazz a little bit more together than my counter parts, but still over time began to lose the early packing incentive associated with getting your bag done early.  see, with  no reward - what was the point?  i rarely ever get somewhere and have forgotten something, i don't lay awake at night before my trip worrying about it, and i am not fretting over it while i am frantically doing it - so why not put it off?

so for this upcoming trip, while i should probably be packing - i am blogging.  we've got tonight, we've got tomorrow - after all we don't leave until saturday morning!

Friday, September 14, 2012


thirty-five.  what is that?  i honestly don't know.  i had to do the math to even figure out how old i turned yesterday.  it appears that 2012 - 1977 - actually does equal 35.  t-h-i-r-t-y - f-i-v-e years old.  where did that come from?  i really don't get it, i mean just yesterday i was going off to college, meeting the man of my dreams, getting married, buying our first house, moving out of state, applying for adoption, being placed with the most perfect baby - and then boom 35 hits me.

 i don't think my child like mind ever dreamed of the age of thirty-five.  see, i had things all mapped out.  at age 27 i'd have my first child.  then within two years i'd have another.  while the first would be a boy or girl, the second would be the opposite - so we'd end up with one of each.  then, when 27 came and went without a baby in our house, i said it would happen by 30.  then, by 29, when things were not going so hot in that department we decided to move out of state.  we packed up everything and made a life change to live in nc.  then, i was sure that this was what we needed to get us to parent land.  but, alas - even by 30 - 31 - 32 - it still was not happening.  by this point, i don't think i could really see past the day ahead. 

see, i am a planner.  when things don't go my way, its hard to digest.  it sometimes gets on will's nerves and he just cannot see why i need to have everything mapped out, but when you come from a family of planners (fighting over who is going to plan the plan) its hard to escape.  and so, when my plans - that i had been working on since high school - were not unfolding like i'd mapped out, it started to get rough.  i think i never let my self think beyond the day to day because i was afraid that another plan would be foiled - and that i just quite possibly might not be able to handle it.

it was around about this time that i suddenly realized that my life was not really about all of my planning, but about God's planning and that his plan would unfold when and how He wanted it to.  it was then that i kind of let myself let go of some of the how we'd become parents and the when we'd become parents and just knew we would become parents.  for so long my plan was to be a mom.  by this next birthday i'll be a mom - i used to think, or this is my last birthday not being a mom, or when i'd blow out my candles, the only wish would be to be a mom.  then it changed, and my wish, my prayer, my hope in knowing was that one day i would be a mom and we'd do it in God's most perfect plan and just that each year would be better than the last.

that birthday just happened.  yesterday was my first birthday being a mom.  it's crazy to think how much i'd stopped planning and stopped focusing on the timing.  i did not even know how old i was.  so, after all of those years of watching the clock, wishing, waiting, and hoping - the moments now are so much more important than the time that has actually passed.  it does not matter what age i am or what age i will be next september 13th.  all i focus on are the joyous seconds that i get to spend with this precious child, knowing that for this birthday, and the next, and the next - i'm his momma and that this year is totally better than the last.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

10 months

it's been ten months since daxton was born.

it's been ten months since this sweet boy found his way into our lives.

it's been ten months since our hearts grew exponentially with a love we never knew.

welcome to ten months old! daxton is into the double digits now! something about ten seems like so much - so much - more than nine. maybe its the fact that we are only two months away from his 1 year old birthday party? maybe its the fact that the weather is getting cooler - very reminiscent of the time of the year when daxy was born last fall? maybe its the fact that we just cannot believe how big our sweet fellow is getting!

we'd gone just a little over nine months before daxton got sick for the first time. from what we hear, we were very lucky. daxton first came down with a virus that had him fevered and congested. shortly after we battled and seemingly won that, he was struck with another fever - this one higher than ever before. with this illness we hit 104.2. mommy and daddy were a little scared. that night we administered the children's motrin, took him out of his regular pajamas and put him into a onesie, cooled him with washrags, and took his temperature every hour. the next morning we found out our sweet fellow had an ear infection. he was definitely uncomfortable, because for the first time in 9.5 months our sweet daxy did not want to go night-night alone, was grumpy, and did not want to jump in his jumperoo. we were sad - all very sad. however, sweet pea has been on amoxocillin since wednesday and is definitely feeling better. hopefully this is the last illness he'll see for quite some time.

daxton's belly drag has a little more umph to it these days. now instead of a full on drag he pushes his rump up a bit before he launches forward. friday he toured the entire main floor of the house. he used to come to the threshold of his room and stop where the carpet met the hardwood floor. it was a good barrier to the "unknown". however, on friday while i was working in his closet, he decided to just go for it and crawled right past the invisible barrier. i knew the second i heard his palm smack the hardwood floor that things were - again - forever changing. i looked up and he was headed down the hall. i watched quietly behind him to see where he'd go. curiosity had a hold of our little fellow and he headed strait to a room that had been fascinating him for some time. he went to the laundry room. it's two doors down from his room, it houses the washer, dryer, dirty clothes, a laundry sink, and the fascinating dog crates. daxy crawled with wreckless abandon straight for the crates. (luckily the doors are closed.) he stopped just short of a face plant into the metal grate on the front of iliana's "condo" and just stared into the doggy house. he checked back to see if i was watching or better yet to see if i was going to tell him no. since there were no doggies in there i figured i would let him investigate. he thoroughly checked it over and when he was done, he pivoted, turned, and crawled with the same vigor towards the dining room. he crawled down the hall, through the dining room, around the table, past the stairs in the foyer, through the living room, and into the kitchen. he was so proud of all he'd seen. for once he had a tour of the entire main floor. this little guy is going places.

mommy found out something about sweet boy this week. see, i like bananas with no brown spots on them. there is something about the texture and the taste that is just a little too sickeningly sweet for me. if they get brown spots, its time to make banana nut bread or a smoothie. i'd been attempting to get daxton to eat bananas for some time now. he'll eat jarred baby food bananas and sprout baby food bananas, but no smashed up plain old bananas. however, when dax was not feeling well i decided to try it again and i found out that sweet boy does like plain old bananas - but that's just it. said bananas need to be old. dax likes bananas with spots. so, in a three day span our sweet pea ate 4 whole bananas! this is going to work out quite well. i will eat the bananas when they're fresh off the truck and daxton can eat them after they've been here for a week.

daxton's vocabulary is increasing. we're still working on getting him to repeat things, but both will and i have heard him say "boom", "dog", and "momma". every time he says something you'd like him to say again, he just looks at you, smiles as big as he can, and clams straight up. in that same vein, he seems to be a singer. he loves to hum and "lala" along with the music, but again - if you turn down the music to hear his sweet song - smile and freeze! we hope that we'll soon be able to capture him in the act!

daxton is super inquisitive. he loves to check things out. he spots something he wants from across the room and like a man on a mission he sets off on a path for that item. once he gets to it, he grabs it, he slowly rolls over (as to not bump his head on the floor), and inspects the item. it does not matter if it's a rattle, a toy, a book, a remote, or a sock. he's still trying to push the limits by checking out anything with a cord. he's in love with all cords - black cords, gray cords, white cords - it does not matter. it does not matter what they are attached to or what they could cause to fall down onto his head by yanking on them. he wants to latch on to the cord and yank it up and down and up and down. he smiles with an absolute joy if he can get to them before we can stop him. if you tell him "no cords" - "no mommy's" - "no daddy's" - it does not matter. he will freeze, grab that great grin, and attempt to smile his way into freedom.

daxton's learning to get control of things. he's been getting around in his walker for quite some time now, but now he can go backwards, forwards, and even turn to go in the direction he wants to go in. he's also learning to grab things like his whole oats cereal and get them straight into his mouth. we now have some cereal at almost every meal. it's so fun to watch dax feed himself. most of the time he is so proud that he does his own little touch down dance right in his high chair. he's also starting to learn to pet the doggies in a more gentle way. this one is a hard one for him and a hard one for our old grumpy dogs to comprehend. luckily we're learning the difference between gentle petting and grabbing a fist full of fur and pulling as hard as you can.

we're in love with this sweet boy's charming ways.  he's the show stopper in every room.  he gets constant compliments on his personality and behavior in the church nursery.  he is always happy and smiling.  his precious behavior makes us be better parents and better people.  he's sweet and loving.  but he is also a giant ham.  he knows how to work the camera and how to turn the charm on and off.  he's got major rhythm, and is going to love to dance.  he's someone that's going to be the life of the party.  mr. personality - he's ours.

it's been ten months of 1896 diaper changes.

it's been ten months of 1743 bottles for a total of 64 gallons.

it's been ten months of cuddling, rocking, and loving on our boy.

it's been ten months of the purest joy you'd ever know.