dax - day thirteen

daxton - day thirteen.
we've had lots of firsts in the past 13 days.  (in no particular order)

first sunny day.
first rain storm.
first car ride.
first trip to the pediatrician.
first weight gain.
first stroll around the neighborhood.
first meeting with nani.
first meeting with pawpaw.
first stroll around the park.
first gifts received.
first trip to target.
first trip to starbucks.
first diaper blow out.
first bath.
first attempted photo shoot.
first hiccups.
first visitors welcomed.
first post-placement visit with birth mother.
first visit with brother.
first package received in his name.
first attempted sleep in cradle ended in first rollover on tummy.
first arched back and holding head up.
umbilical cord fell off.
first boys hang out with daddy.
first doggy kiss on his toes.
held first toy.
first attempt to throw passie across the room.

right now we're battling some dry skin and baby acne.  each day his dry skin gets a little better, and it does not seem to bother him a bit.  he has a suspected blocked left tear duct that the pediatrician is just watching.  he works to open a little more each day and it tends to help when we apply a warm compress a few times a day.

he's enjoying his outdoor time and loves to go for strolls and to hang out on the screened in porch.  we're working to get him acclimated to his days and nights.  he loves to sleep the majority of the day and then wakes up ready to go around 9pm.  unfortunately we are not as much night owls as we once were, so by that time mommy and daddy are exhausted.  some nights we get a 3 or 4 hour stretch, and we're very grateful when that happens.

he really enjoys listening to music.  his favorite cd right now is "you are my flower" by elizabeth mitchell.  we all love singing "little sack of sugar" to him.  he thinks its funny when we tell him we're going to "eat him up".  he almost seems to smile and dance when we play this song.

he's more wonderful than we could have ever imagined.  we waited so long for a precious child, but we had no idea how much love and joy he'd bring into our lives.  we savor every minute and treasure each second we have to spend with him.  we know how lucky we are to have him in our lives.  we prayed for so long for him to find us, and we just really had no idea what we were missing until he got here.  he is the sweetest baby who rarely ever cries.  we know he only cries if he's gone too long for his bottle or if he has a dirty diaper that we have not figured out yet.  otherwise he is calm, sweet, and restful.  we praise God for every day and we're looking forward to many more firsts with baby dax.

meet daxton

meet daxton.  his arrival has been greatly anticipated by multitudes of wonderful people.  he'll surpass your wildest expectations, so just get ready because the journey is just beginning.

we woke up early this morning in preparation to head to the hospital around 10:30.  we wanted to make sure dax's clothes and diaper bag were ready to go.  we'd changed up his clothing arrangements several times since he was too tiny for some of the things we had in his closet.  we were ready early and i just sat with nervous energy waiting for the time to pass.  some how the last 30 minutes of this wait seemed like the longest time period of the entire journey.  finally it was time to go.

we packed up the car and pulled out of our drive way for the last time as a family of two.  will drove us to the hospital and i cried off and on until we arrived.  since we were early we decided we'd make some public announcements as to today's plan via email/facebook.  when it was close to time to be there we headed inside.  we waited anxiously in the lobby of the hospital for the social worker to arrive.  we've been working with an alternate social worker this week as our assigned social worker had to be away for a family emergency.  when she arrived we found a spot in the lobby area to sit and complete our portion of the paperwork that remained.  she went over everything with us and made sure we did not have any questions.  before too long it was time to head upstairs.

tears were welling up as we walked the long corridor to our birth mother's hospital room.  there was a heaviness that surrounded the situation and made me feel so overwhelmingly upset.  we felt (and continue to feel) extreme sadness for her loss in knowing that the happiest day of our lives is one of the most difficult in hers.  we wish there was something we could do to comfort her and help her heal as she works through this loss and grief.  it's hard for me to feel the happiness i've longed for today when all i can think about is the sadness that consumes her.

however despite the gravity of the situation and the complexity of everything that envelopes us we know more than ever that God is just quite simply amazing.  we don't really know how we got here, but today we brought home our son.  daxton is the most amazingly perfect little fellow you've ever laid your eyes on.  we praise God every minute that passes for this blessing and cannot wait to share how his little life will unfold.  today - our sweet baby darling deer found his way to us.  thank you daxton for finding us and calling us your family.

it's happening

tuesday - 11/08/11 - 12:38am

this was the day "our" son was born.

i did not sleep at all that night and this was the photo of the sunrise on tuesday morning.

what we've been looking for will be here tomorrow.

faith

faith like a mustard seed, that's all it takes. never give up hope, he's gonna do great things.

He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you." Matthew 17:20

saturday we had a long conversation about the loss of hope. will was worried his hope was gone. it was heartbreaking to hear the phrase that he'd lost hope, but i knew it was still part of his grieving heart.

sunday we worshipped at church with a proper sermon on hope and faith. it's like God was speaking right to will's heart.

monday morning will prayed for his hope, his heart, and the adoption. monday afternoon our social worker called about an opportunity.

today we met this sweet mother who wanted to learn more about us and how things would unfold. she graced us with some amazing ultrasound photos, something we thought we'd never have. she connected with us on multiple levels and we're blessed to have met her.

we've got faith like a mustard seed and nothing is impossible.