Tuesday, January 31, 2012

created for care - march retreat

with multiple people's insistence i finally re-read and re-evaluated a retreat that is going on this march in ga.  one of the sweet adoptive hopefuls we met at our bethany seminar last year is planning to attend and asked me if i'd join her!  kierstin had mentioned it to me a while back and i just had too much going on to even consider it.  however, after i read back over the website, the offerings, and re-watched the video - i knew i just had to make it happen.

so, this march i'll be heading to ga with cherie to go to the "created for care" seminar at lake lanier.  Created for Care is a retreat for adoptive hopefuls and adoptive moms who've been called into this wonderful journey.  while on the life long journey there's a great need for support, friendship, and a close connection with friends and with God.  this retreat hopes to supply women walking the journey of adoption with as many of these tools and links as possible.  i'm looking forward to an amazing weekend with friends (some i've never met in person), a wealth of resources and information to download, and a stronger connection to God and what he's calling me to do.

*photo taken from snapshot of the created for care video on youtube.

Friday, January 27, 2012

11 Random Things

Kelly over at From Empty Womb to Overflowing Heart... tagged me in a little survey. I could not resist, so here we go!

1. Post these rules
2. You must post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in their post.
4. Create 11 new questions for the people you tag to answer.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you've tagged them.
6. Tag up to 11 people.

My 11 Random Things:

1. I love France and I love French things. I love the look of French country homes and decor. I always love the look of linen and old woods.

2. The beach is my favorite place on earth. The waves crashing on the shore, the smell of the salt air, and the warmth of the sun are the most amazing things on the planet.

3. Our dogs are driving me insane. They've been a little jealous of Daxton's arrival. We're having lots of accidents in the house and lots of fighting between the two of them. Iliana is sick with a brain tumor and is being treated for this and some personality issues, so the sisters (dogs) are pretty much separated at all times. Having to keep them apart, work, take care of the house, and help Daxton grow can sometimes be a lot in a day.

4. I'm 2012 Yelp Elite. If you don't know what Yelp is, you probably don't care about this. However, since you see my love for food (below) you'll know how big of a deal this is to me. I grew up with my father having a food inspection job for a fast food chain (which shall remain nameless), so I was used to ordering food, photographing food, and writing reviews. It was just natural that I would end up loving to do the same.

5. I always wished I could play the violin. One year Will rented me a violin for a present. I (surprise) did not want to learn to read the music, so I never learned to play more than a few notes. I love the way they sound, the lines of the wood, and the thought of it, but I guess I am too lazy.

6. I hate bugs. I cannot stand to see them in or around our house. I hate spraying chemicals (and have not done it since Dax was here), but I am certainly researching chemical free warfare against bugs. NC is not very good at getting cold enough to kill bugs in the winter, so they just want to come inside our house. How rude!

7. I love antiques. I love old things and things with a history. Going to antique stores, auctions, and yard sales is fun. Just thinking about where these things have been and repurposing things is something I've always loved.

8. I hope to one day have a home filled with all original artwork. My aunt is an artist who has done just this. Just this past December she told me that she has over 1000 pieces of original artwork. I would rather have nothing on my walls than something that I don't love, treasure, or get some emotion from. I wanted to start Dax off right by painting a large painting for his room, and I am so glad that he'll have that to wake up to every day.

9. I love projects. I love to redecorate, paint, and do little make overs. It's fun for me to paint a wall and totally transform a space. Will used to come home from working late and I would have painted the dining room another color. He got used to the ever changing palate.

10. Some of my favorite childhood memories were building things with my dad in the garage. We'd spend hours upon hours and weeks upon weeks working on school projects like a Native American Indian Village, a 3 foot tall active volcano, or a shoe box of planets. I loved that he got so into it and how people would react to my life sized projects.

11. Third Day is my current favorite band. I LOVE them and was so excited for our December 2nd concert tickets this past winter. However, as the concert dates got closer we were contacted and told that the show was cancelled and postponed until May of 2012. Now I have to wait until May to rock out!

Kelly's 11 Random Questions For Me:

1. Favorite thing to do in your "spare" time?
Photography. I love cameras of all types and I love taking and looking at pictures. I took photography in college, but my camera was not digital and I feel like I need to take some classes to fully learn how to use my latest Canon.

2. If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you go and why?
Palazzo Terranova - Perugia, Italy. I loved the show Debbie Travis' Painted House. One one episode Debbie painted the rooms in a bed and breakfast in Italy. Ever since I saw the episode husband and I have dreamed of taking a trip and staying at this b&b. Of course I also want to ride bikes through a cobble stone street. I am sure we could do that there too.

3. If you could choose any dream job what would it be?
I would love to own a gift store. My mom owns a gift store and I always admired her for it. I would have white walls, white wood floors, white flowing linen curtains, and lots of colorful artisan designed home decor and gift items. Not that I have thought about that a lot or anything.

4. If you have a guilty pleasure, what is it?
Eating. I eat a lot. I eat too much. I love food. I love all kinds of food. I love to cook. I love to go out to eat. I love how food looks and taking pictures of it. Anything about food, centered around food, or focused on food is fun and pleasurable for me!

5. What has been the hardest question you've been confronted with regarding your child's adoption?
So far we have not had too many difficult questions about Daxton being a member of our family. I think the strangest thing that happened was on the second visit to meet with Dax's birth mother. We went to a local mall to meet "L". While we waited we stood by a sign with Dax in his stroller. A very odd lady came up to us and started asking us about buying toys for a two year old for Christmas. We had no suggestions, but chatted with what we could tell her about gifts for 8 and 12 year old boys. She was about to leave and mosey on when she turned back and asked us if "he" was "ours"? My husband and I both looked at each other, then looked at her, and confirmed - Yes. Yes, he is.

6. If you could meet anyone dead or alive, who would it be?
If I could "meet" anyone dead or alive I would chose to have one last meeting with my Grandma Taylor. I wish she could meet Daxton. I wish I could tell her how much I loved her and how much I miss her. She passed away unexpectedly some time ago and I don't think my family ever got over it. She was a dear sweet woman who lived with a lot of emotional pain that I was too young to understand. Now that I know what haunted her so much I just wish I could hug and love on her again.

7. Favorite restaurant?
Where do I begin? I love going out to eat, so I pretty much have a favorite restaurant of every type of food. Name a cuisine and I have a favorite location in mind. If I had to pick just one favorite restaurant it would have to be Nana's in Durham, NC. Will and I went there for our 10 year wedding anniversary and had an amazingly wonderful dinner that we'll never forget.

8. What book are you currently reading or do you want to read?
I am not a reader. I am more of a flip through a magazine and look at the pictures type gal. I will actually not even read recipes if they are too long. I hope that I can teach Daxton to love books a lot more than I do.

9. If you struggled with IF, do you ever feel that people regard your decision to adopt as a "last resort" or "second best"? If so, how do you deal with it?
I have not had anyone confront me about this topic, but I think most of my friends truly understand the journey that we went on to end up where we are now. Dealing with IF (being in the land of IF) was just a stepping stone that helped us get to this moment in time. If we had not had the miscarriages we had, the allergic reactions we had with infertility treatments, and met the people we did along our adoption journey then Daxton would not be our son. I don't think anyone can ever lessen the fact that your child is your child, regardless of how you got pregnant or came to be their parent.

10. What's to your immediate left?
Nightstand. Embarrassingly covered in too many things. Two tervis tumblers half full of water, Daxton's reflux medicine, Daxton's nail clippers, Daxton's socks, my hair brush, Target coupons, lotion, a candle, my fan, and a Putumayo cd.

11. If someone gave you 1 million dollars, how would you use it?
We'd first pay off our debt (including our home loan), purchase a car for me (since I don't have one), put money aside for Daxton's college, and then see how we could assist our families, Daxton's birthfamily, and our church. I know that amount of money seems like a lot, but I am sure it would be gone before you could blink.

11 People Tagged:

1. Cat at Cat's Litterbox
2. The Mommy at Our Red Threads
3. Melodie at Blessed Beyond Measure
4. Amy at Our Journey Together
5. Grace at Chois-R-Us
6. Tracy at Always and Forever Ours
7. Rachel at Johnathan and Rachel
8. Jonelle at Somewhere in the Middle
9. Jeny at Smiling Through the Rain
10. Rebekah at Heart Cries
11. Angel at The Voice of Adventure

11 Questions For the People I've Tagged:

1. What's your favorite way to spend a Saturday?
2. Where is your favorite vacation destination?
3. If you could only eat one food item for the rest of your life, what would it be?
4. If you could be the parent of as many children as you wanted, how many would you have?
5. What's your favorite scent, smell, or fragrance?
6. What do you have on your feet right now?
7. What's your favorite childhood memory?
8. Do you like your first name?
9. What did you want to be when you grew up?
10. What's your current favorite song?
11. Are you as close with your friends now as you were when you were younger?

No hard feelings if you've been tagged and you don't have time to participate! I'd just love to get to learn more about you and what makes you tick!

Monday, January 16, 2012

Lord, teach us how to pray

a lesson from a sermon.

"have you ever prayed for something and not gotten what you prayed for?"

have you ever thanked Jesus for NOT giving you what you asked for?

we were asked why we pray.  the general consensus was "to get stuff".  but after hearing the lesson - we see it's because we know our Father will only give us what we need.  we're praying for "YOUR" kingdom come - not "MY" kingdom come.  listening to this - i mean REALLY listening to this - hit me hard.  i have vividly haunting memories of being at work in the last bathroom stall praying to God that i was not having a miscarriage.  i prayed to God that i would do anything He wanted me to do if He would just let me keep this baby.  that was 8 years ago, but i can remember it like it was just an hour prior. at the time i could not understand why i could not have what i asked for.   i was not praying for a new car, or a house, or a new cell phone - but i was still praying for something that i wanted.  i was praying for my will to be done.  not what God wanted and knew i needed.  it hit me hard because i knew, sitting there listening to this sermon that if God had given me what i wanted then, i probably would not be Dax's mommy now.  that stirred up a wave in me that's pretty hard to digest. 

i thank Jesus that i was not given what i thought i needed in 2004, or in 2008, and thank God that He gave me Dax because he's more than i could have ever dreamed of.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

two months

it's been two months since daxton was born.

it's been two months since this sweet boy found his way into our lives.

it's been two months since our hearts grew exponentially with a love we never knew.

 it's terribly difficult to believe how time has flown.  we constantly ask ourselves where our newborn baby went.  daxton is growing every day.  it seems that sometime overnight last week he sprouted out of his newborn clothes.  he seems to be stretching out.  he's still wearing size 1 diapers, but his legs, arms, and feet are too big for the footie pajamas that have become his favorites.  we packed them away this weekend and added some 0 - 3 month pajamas to his rotation.  we'll go for his two month check up tomorrow where we'll offiicially learn how much he weighs and how long he's actually gotten. will tried to weigh him at Christmas, but it was difficult to tell where he was at and we thought he was over 10lbs!

he spends more of his days awake admiring the world around him.  he seems to be having fun just soaking it all in.  he's fascinated by the birds that hang from the light fixture over the kitchen table, is very fond of the ceiling fans we have in several rooms in our house, and loves to see mommy and daddy's faces!  he's happy laying on his playmat and working his arms and legs.  he likes to be held up and using his legs to push, push, push off! 

he's showing us his personality and loves to smile, laugh, and giggle.  he loves to flash his dimples.  he's talking to us more and carrying on all sorts of conversations.  when  he wakes up from a deep sleep we call him a dinosaur.  he'll let out a roar just to let you know he's stretching into action!  he arches his back, throws his arms up over his head, and lets out a yell!  s-t-r-e-t-c-h!  when he's playing on his mat he'll coo and babble about all sorts of things.  he likes me to fill in the narratives and then he adlibs the rest.

it's been two months of adjusting to new sleep patterns, living with another person, and new routines in our lives.

it's been two months of 475 diaper changes.

it's been two months of 501 bottles.

it's been two months of cuddling, rocking, and loving on our boy.

it's been two months of the purest joy you'd ever know.