Wednesday, December 19, 2012

sunny saturday

we've been blessed with the gift of an open adoption with a birth family that loves and cares for our son.  we recently spent an unseasonably warm december saturday at a park catching up with daxton's biological mother and half-brother.  nobody had to wear a coat and it was so soothing to feel the heat of the sun in the dead of winter.  it was good to see their smiling faces and spend the afternoon chatting with them.  these people have the most brilliant smiles and they're always happy to see us.  it's great to hang out with people who genuinely want to be in your presence.  

dax's bio mom ("L") sat on the park bench with me and we watched all of the boys swinging.  while we were sitting there we shared some pretty deep conversations about our feelings on transracial adoption.  i'm glad she feels comfortable with me and i hope she knows she can always talk to us about anything that's on her mind.  it never ceases to amaze me how wonderful she is.  she's done something i could never do and put her complete trust in total strangers.  while i know the love and devotion we have for dax, for her to trust that and believe in it is something so utterly unfathomable it's just heaven sent.

we chat often about divine intervention and how none of this could have ever come together without God's hand.  all of us know that the pieces of this adoption puzzle were just too far removed for it to have ever fit together without his loving touch.  we're so grateful that He built this relationship for us and know just how special it is.

we thank God daily for this bond we've had and continue to have with her and her family.  we've gotten to know them a little more with every passing month and just hope that our relationship will continue to flourish.  we cherish the time that we get to spend with them and always look forward to our visits.  it's helpful and healing for all of us to reconnect with each other face to face and to reassure any doubts, fears, or worries any one of us might have.  we communicate a great deal by e-mail and a little by text, but a face to face meeting is irreplaceable.

i treasure the time i get to see dax spending with them.  he's comfortable and at peace with us all together.  it's like when you have a best friend, and even though they are hundreds of miles away and you only get to see them once a year - when you get together it's like you don't even skip a beat.  the conversation picks up where it left off.  it's just like that.  it's easy and it's heartfelt and they have a chemistry that's apparent.

for daxton's birthday we worked with "L" to make him a book that was all about her.  we wanted him to have something tangible to tell him about where he came from.  we filled the pages with her favorite poems, songs, colors, foods, pictures, and anything we could think of.  we don't know if our relationship will always look like it does at this moment in time, and while we hope it stays that way, we're not naive to think that someday things might not always be exactly as they are right now.  we'll do everything in our power to keep it the same or better, but know that with time and seasons in life our relationships may change.

we picked out a 7x7 inch book size that's just perfect for tiny fingers, with pages that are sturdy and strong, so that he can flip through it and we can read to him about her anytime he wants.  it's small enough to take wherever he goes and something we hope he will always have.

so we're ever hopeful that our relationship will always be strong and open and we'll always be a part of each others lives.  we hope that our visits and communication will continue to be free flowing and that every passing year we will continue to grow and build upon the strong foundation that we have developed.

Saturday, December 8, 2012

13 months

welcome to 13 months! 

when people ask us how old he is, we still find ourselves having a hard time saying he is "one year old" and now he's even older than that!

dax has started breaking into a traditional crawling position every once in a while.  we'll occasionally just see him trucking across his bedroom on all fours - there seems to be no rhyme or reason to it, and he just does it whenever he wants to.  otherwise, his main mode of transportation is still the infamous belly drag.

daxton is pulling up on everything.  for the most part he's pretty good to hold himself up on window ledges, chairs, table legs, the coffee table, his pack n' play, the baby gates, the stair rails, your legs, or anything else he can get his little fingers to grasp hold of.  once he's up, he'll work his way around the object and see how far he can go.  every once in a while he forgets he has to be holding on (with at least one hand) and he goes crashing back.  he still has not mastered sitting down from the standing up position, so sometimes he will go sliding (belly first) down the wall landing on his knees, crashing backwards onto his butt (thank goodness for extra padding in cloth diapers), or sometimes he will actually put one hand down to brace himself and actually sit down.  its cute.

daxton has moved on from drinking formula to drinking whole milk.  the dr. advised that we do a cold turkey transition from bottles of formula to sippy cups of milk, but our sweet guy just does not get the sippy cup routine.  we've invested about $50 in various types of sippy cups and he really only gets the lolla cup, and still does not use that very religiously.  he spends more time pouring the milk out on to the floor or himself than actually drinking it.  so, we've stuck with bottles for now - and just filled them full of whole milk.  he likes the milk and seems to have transitioned well from the formula.

dax also adventured into the land of food textures.  he now enjoys things like blueberries, banana, cut up steamed carrots, bean sprouts, cut up cherry tomatoes, tomato soup, cinnamon applesauce, shredded cheddar cheese, and baked sweet potatoes.  today was the first day he went an entire day with no baby food.  he loves feeding himself and grabbing food off of his plate.  most of the time he gets about 70% of it where it needs to go.  the dogs appreciate the remainder.

daxton is doing a lot of babbling now.  he carries on rather lengthy conversations with himself in the car, while i am working, or as we shop around the grocery store.  he still never meets a stranger and loves to ham it up showing off his teeth and dimples.  you don't really know what in the world he's carrying on about, but sometimes you can make out a word like doggy, dada, daddy, daxton, gran gran, uhoh, wow, or woof.  he's going to definitely be a talker, and we think he's got some important things to say!

since his first birthday dax has enjoyed a trip to mississippi, a trip to virginia, his first turkey dinner, his first bbq, his first parade, learned to dance on his knees while clapping, a visit with his birthmother, meeting his birthfather, playing with his half-brother, and a meeting with santa.  he's logged over 50 hours in the car on car trips and still has fun riding on short jaunts.  if he gets too bored he'll just go to sleep, but if he wakes up from that nap and finds himself still strapped in the car seat your eardrums better look out.  he screamed at me for about an hour on the way to virginia for thanksgiving.  we won't try that again, well - for at least a few weeks. 

daxton now has his two top teeth, his two bottom teeth, and teeth poking through on either side of all of them.  before we know it he's going to have eight teeth to work with!  he loves crunching cheddar bunnies or o's cereal between his teeth and he's decided he likes to chew on things like your shirt, your jewelry, and even try to chomp on your arm!  we're hoping the biting incident was just an experimentation phase because he never tried it again!  look out world, this dino has some chompers!

we say every month that this has been the best month yet, but it's true that parenting just keeps getting better and better.  we're enjoying every minute.  our little fellow is so aware of the world around him and he's soaking it all in. he's mesmerized by the Christmas lights, the doggies running, meeting new people, listening to music, or hearing things he's never heard, tasted, felt, or seen before. we're keeping him busy with new toys, new foods, new activities, and new places.  he's learning new things every day and he's out to take on the world!