Sunday, October 3, 2010

connections and opportunities

there's been a lot of connecting with strangers lately.  we've opened up and when people ask us what is going on with us, we talk about adoption.  people are curious.  they want to know things about what is going on with the process.  some things we can explain, and others we just do not have answers for.

here is what we know:
  • how lucky we are that God has selected this path for us
  • we've decided we're doing a domestic infant program in the US
    • this program means we could be the proud parents of an infant between the ages of 0 - 3 months
  • we've decided we're open to a baby of any gender and any ethnic background
  • we know we are ready to love any baby that God calls us to adopt
  • we pray for the birth parents and baby on a daily (and sometimes hourly basis)
here is what we are unsure of:
  • we don't know how long the process will take once our paperwork has been approved
  • we don't know how long it will take to complete all of the paperwork and complete the home study
  • how we will handle a match if it falls through
  • we don't fully understand how our lives will change with the addition of a new life
    • we've had discussions of what will change, how things will work differently, and what we need to be prepared for - but i don't think we will fully understand this until it happens
i went into our small downtown area friday night to pick out a new wreath for our front door.  while there i chatted with the shop owner about preparing for our profile book photos.  she told me how "admirable" it was that we were adopting, since so many babies needed homes.  i've really felt badly about this ever since.  i should have used that opportunity to tell her that i am just doing what God wants me to do, and that it is me who is on the receiving end of something that is admirable, and that the person who should be most admired is the biological parent(s) that are choosing life for their child and loving them enough to give them up for adoption.  but i did not say any of this, i just blew it. 

but, i guess the fact that i cannot stop thinking about it proves that all of my reading may finally be paying off -
because i will be ready next time.


Michael said...

You are so right. We, as adoptive parents are the ones that are blessed. I still get frustrated when people talk about our son as if he was a charity project or that we did something noble by adopting him. God has blessed my family because of adoption. God bless you as you continue this process.

Krista said...

You inspire me every time I read this blog in so many ways. I feel like I am a better person just knowing you because you are so thoughtful, sensitive, and giving. I know we hardly ever talk but I just wanted you to know that. You are going to make unbelievable parents and your little one to be is so lucky!

Kierstin said...

Ya know it takes those botched up opportunities to make us aware for the next time and there will be TONS to next times! Trust me-- I've never shared my faith with others including strangers as much as I have this year when I talk of our adoption. BTW just a tid bit for you-- being open to any gender and any ethnicity will bring you a baby faster than you can imagine but in your head prepare for a year-- then it will make his/her arrival that much better!!

Cat's Litterbox said...

Hello friend! Here's what I do know:
- The "speed" of your process will be exactly the amount that is meant to be
- You could have a baby in your arms faster than you ever imagined
- The number of people who do not understand adoption is amazingly high

I just joined a moms group with Gus and one of the ladies approached me on Monday (we were at an event) and asked, "How old was he when you got him?" As if I went to a store and bought him. I said, "He was placed in my arms on the day he was born... literally hours after he entered the world." She continued to tell me how wonderful she thought it was that we adopted (I never told her that we adopted Gus... it's not something that I feel I have to announce to everyone I meet), and then went on to tell me about a friend of hers that adopted a baby and the complications with the birth mother. Then she asked if the birth mom had a hard time "giving up" her baby. I said, "She didn't give up anything, she placed him with us for adoption."

It'll take time and as Kierstin said, there will be many of opportunities to correct people about the misconceptions with adoption.

Let me know when we can get together and I can share our book with you!!