not being 100% sure why, this Christmas just seems more difficult than any other has ever been. last night i walked past a picture in our bathroom that we took on a trip to the ilse of palms in sc after having to cancel our trip to mexico when we found out our first sweet baby was probably not going to make it into this world. i see that picture every day. we were so happy - even with the news we'd been given - because we held out hope that the dr. was wrong and that this precious baby inside me would grow to term and spend it's life with us. looking at the picture last night reminded me of all of the stepping stones we've used to get across this river, and that no matter how raging the river was, that will was there - right beside me - holding my hand.
i know that there is a possibility that this will be our last Christmas alone, and so i hope we can take it slowly - minute by minute - and treasure every single thing that unfolds between now and then. will is my protector, my best friend, my soul mate, my reassurance, and the daddy-o of our future babies. i hope on this Christmas, more than ever before he knows how wonderfully remarkable he is, and how i just cannot wait to raise babies with him.
MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010!