a lesson from a sermon.
"have you ever prayed for something and not gotten what you prayed for?"
have you ever thanked Jesus for NOT giving you what you asked for?
we were asked why we pray. the general consensus was "to get stuff". but after hearing the lesson - we see it's because we know our Father will only give us what we need. we're praying for "YOUR" kingdom come - not "MY" kingdom come. listening to this - i mean REALLY listening to this - hit me hard. i have vividly haunting memories of being at work in the last bathroom stall praying to God that i was not having a miscarriage. i prayed to God that i would do anything He wanted me to do if He would just let me keep this baby. that was 8 years ago, but i can remember it like it was just an hour prior. at the time i could not understand why i could not have what i asked for. i was not praying for a new car, or a house, or a new cell phone - but i was still praying for something that i wanted. i was praying for my will to be done. not what God wanted and knew i needed. it hit me hard because i knew, sitting there listening to this sermon that if God had given me what i wanted then, i probably would not be Dax's mommy now. that stirred up a wave in me that's pretty hard to digest.
i thank Jesus that i was not given what i thought i needed in 2004, or in 2008, and thank God that He gave me Dax because he's more than i could have ever dreamed of.