we had our first meeting with the expectant mother that selected our profile book for consideration. our meeting was at 9am, so we got up early and headed across town to make sure we were "on time". we got there about half an hour early, and just as we were sitting there (me freaking out), my mom called on will's cell to chat, encourage, and keep our minds off things.
i was nervous that she would not like us, that she'd find something quirky or irritating that she just could not get past. we spent last night reading forums, blogs, and website articles about meetings like this - and what to expect. we created our list of questions (thanks kierstin) and tried to be as prepared as possible. we burned a dvd of our you tube video and i made a scrapbooky type cd cover with a "sweet darling deer" on the cover. we figured we'd see how the meeting went, and then at the end if things went well, we'd have it to give to her. i was nervously sweating bullets by this morning and could not wait to just get into the office and get it over with.
we ended up going inside about 5 minutes early. when we got there our social worker greeted us and led us into the room. we met the expectant mother and her husband and our social worker eased us past the awkward silence. the couple was so sweet, so humble, so gracious, and so kind. we were amazed at their grace through this process and their willingness to be open with us about their situation and their desires. we felt good about our conversation and they reassured us that they felt good about it too. they confirmed with us that they felt so much more reassured since they'd met us in person and they really felt comfortable with us being the parents of this child.
they went on to tell us that they wanted me to be in the delivery room, for us to be the first ones to hold the baby, for us to be the first ones to change her diapers, feed her, and to give her her name. we were floored by this level of concern for "us" and the possibility that we might get to see this baby be born. its something we'd always dreamed of, but dismissed knowing that it could be a very uncomfortable or awkward situation for everyone involved. we knew however, with this being our possibly one and only domestic infant adoption (future planned adoptions will probably be international or from foster care) that this might be the only chance that we'd ever get to witness a child of "ours" being born or giving them their name.
the expectant mother had great concern for our involvement and wanted us to know that we would not be stepping on her toes. she wants us to ask for things that we want, things that are important to us, and to speak up if we feel like its needed. i never thought we'd hear such emotional concern for us, when she's going through so much of a difficult time herself. she seemed more concerned for us than for herself and we were amazed by her selflessness.
we talked for almost two hours and our social worker set up another meeting for the two of them to firm out her birth plan and open adoption plan (on our anniversary) next week. we will then have a meeting with the four of us the week after that to go over everything and get everyone's expectations in order. at the end of the meeting i asked them if they'd seen our video and when she said they had not, i gave her the dvd. she seemed happy to have it and i hope she'll watch it and learn even more about us to reassure her if she still does have any lingering reservations.
when i prayed to God that he'd send us the baby that He wanted us to parent, i never dreamed that we'd be introduced to and possibly work with (and have a future with) someone so wonderfully amazing as these human beings. we feel very confident that she is sure in her commitment, and pray that this is the "one", but we know that even if she changes her mind and decides to parent this sweet baby girl that we'll be graced by having met her today.
we kindly ask that you please continue to pray for this family and their peace with the decision they make.