Thursday, August 18, 2011

10th wedding anniversary - but still a worrisome day

the social worker says we shouldn't worry, but i am.  our sweet expectant mother did not show up for her appointment this morning and i cannot help but cry.  the social worker says it happens all the time and its not unusual for this to occur.  she reminded us how busy e-mom is and that she just probably could not make it, or did not feel like she needed to have this visit.  our social worker says she'll call us if/when she hears from e-mom again, but for us to not fret over it.

we just worry that something has happened to her.  we pray that everyone is all right and that she just got called into work etc. 

i was hoping that today i'd get a little more peace about the entire thing.  i cannot help but be nervous for this until it's all officially over and signed off on.  i felt like today was going to be a step for me to feel a little more comfortable about everything.  i am starting to worry that buying all of this pink was a bad idea.

husband and i are going to try and focus on our marriage and the fact that we're celebrating our 10th wedding anniversary today.  we're getting all dressed up and going to a special dinner.  it's hard to believe we've been married 10 years, and we've been through some major ups and downs.  all of those trials have made us stronger together, and i know this one will too.


Ashley said...

I'm sorry she didn't show up. It is hard not to worry during the wait. God is in control!
Happy anniversary!!

Cat's Litterbox said...

Oh honey!!! I totally wish I could make it better, but honestly, you won't feel peace until you finalize. Adoption is a strange beast... for all the wonderful things that it is, it's also scary, horrific, and a ride filled with fear and doubts.

Take a deep breath and know that God is working here. Whether this baby is yours or not, there's a reason for everything so don't fret too much. Have faith and just try to let go and let God.

It's easier said than done... and I get that. I had so much fear driving the 12 hours to MI to get Gus... I was a HOT mess! I was crying off and on and at times, tears were pouring down my face without me realizing it. It's scary. It's stressful.

Try not to think negatively because the "rocky" road of fear is easy to get wrapped up in. You'll be scared when you get the call that a baby is being born. You'll be scared when you hold him/her for the first time. You'll be scared until the birth mother signs over temporary custody. You'll be scared during the post-placement risk period that she'll change her mind.

It's all practice for parenthood. The fears will be a distant memory once you get into the groove of being a family (trust me on this... you know all the hell we went through with Gus). It'll all work out in the end and you'll have each other and that's what counts.

Ten years is an incredible milestone. You've got one another, an amazing marriage, and a faith in God that's so strong, nothing can break it.

I'm here if you need to chat-- but just know, you're on the path that God has chosen for you and it WILL work out and it WILL be okay!!!

Love you!!!!