the waiting, oh the waiting!

new color will focus on green.  crib sheet will be a myriad of colors.

people like to check in on us and they ask us how things are going and what's new on the adoption front.  part of me is happy that they asked because they are concerned and they care, but part of me still gets very irritated about it - not because they asked, but perhaps because they had to ask.  the truth is there's not a blip of anything going on in the radar.  we've got nothing to report, not one phone call, not one situation presented to us, nothing.  see, if we had something to share - we'd likely share it, but there's nothing to share.

waiting is hard.

that's where we were two weeks ago and it precipitated us setting up an appointment with our social worker to discuss where we're at.  we originally felt God leading us to adopt a baby girl and we arranged our profile in that way.  our profile book was geared towards an expectant mother carrying a baby girl in her belly.  our nursery was decorated in shades of light gray, pink, and seafoam.  we had a couple little girly baby outfits, just in case we got a "stork drop call".

however, in the past few weeks God has been changing our hearts.  we know that it is important for us to bring a sibling into our home for dax and to help complete our family.  we know that child should have a skin tone that doesn't match ours, but one that looks more like daxton's.  however, that's our only firm and solid goal.  our goal is no longer to try and only locate a female sibling, but really the sibling that God wants us to have join our family.  if He wants to have us parent a girl, He'll bring us a girl.

our social worker got our profile updated and removed our video from our online set up.  we're working on redoing the nursery so that we can update those photos in our profile book.  we also had to remove sweet iliana's photos and name from our book.  that was hard, but our lives are changing.  we hope to get the photos done and the books printed shortly.  right now we're just waiting on a crib sheet that was ordered to give us a more gender neutral look.

it's good to have something to work on to keep us busy, and at the 11 month mark of waiting we welcome some more activity to be occupied while we wait.  waiting is hard and i don't think we ever thought we ever imagined it could possibly take this long, even though they warned us it could.  we hope that these changes will help to open us up to the right situation so we can continue to grow our family.

God has made it abundantly clear that we are to build our family through adoption.  that is something we have not questioned in the past decade.  and in that calling we know that He will provide another child for us to love, but sometimes our flesh is weak and we are impatient.  we continue to ask for your prayers as we endure this season of waiting.  we know that the wait, regardless of how long it may be, is a necessary part of our life that will get us to the point where we parent this special placement.  thanks for being with us in this wait.

lauren daigle continues to really help me keep focus:

"Letting go of every single dream
I lay each one down at Your feet
Every moment of my wandering
Never changes what You see
I’ve tried to win this war I confess
My hands are weary I need Your rest
Mighty Warrior, King of the fight
No matter what I face, You’re by my side
When You don’t move the mountains I’m needing You to move
When You don’t part the waters I wish I could walk through
When You don’t give the answers as I cry out to You
I will trust, I will trust, I will trust in You!"