love. it's a beautiful thing. it' more than a feeling, it's an action. it's something we desire, something we long for, something we crave, something we need. sometimes, as parents - and especially parents of children that did not grow in our tummies - it's a stronger longing than if we'd carried the child for nine months - just to have our child love us. it's all we want. and we wait for it to come for such a long time. we think of it before the child even comes, before we've even done paperwork, had physicals, gone to appointments and seminars, and parenting classes - we're just thinking of the day when our child (wherever they are) will love us.
will and i wanted that from our child - not only for them to love us, but to have them give us a physical reflection of their love. how wonderful it would be if we knew of their love through their actions. we both craved it and talked about it off and on as we planned our family and our future - how all we wanted to do was to provide a home that was full of love and a feeling of security for our children - so they would feel our love. so, after dax came home we focused hard on making that a reality. we make sure to be intentional about our love. we make sure to tell dax every day how much he's loved and we pray together seeking the love of God every night. we give him kisses and hugs and make sure we show him the love as much as we talk about it.
that's why it was a huge deal to us when a few weeks ago daxton started showing the love back. now when you tell him you love him he will either say "la eww" or will put his flat palm to his lips and say "muuuuwaaaah" as he blows you a kiss. if you ask him for a kiss he will give you a nice big wet one on the lips (usually open mouthed...) or he will blow a kiss at you. this past week he has started putting his arm around our necks and resting his head on our shoulders while giving us kisses. we're really feeling the love from him and we're treasuring every smooch. it's so sweet and tender and pure and it's more than we ever dreamed it could be.
ah love - at last.