Wednesday, December 19, 2012

sunny saturday

we've been blessed with the gift of an open adoption with a birth family that loves and cares for our son.  we recently spent an unseasonably warm december saturday at a park catching up with daxton's biological mother and half-brother.  nobody had to wear a coat and it was so soothing to feel the heat of the sun in the dead of winter.  it was good to see their smiling faces and spend the afternoon chatting with them.  these people have the most brilliant smiles and they're always happy to see us.  it's great to hang out with people who genuinely want to be in your presence.  

dax's bio mom ("L") sat on the park bench with me and we watched all of the boys swinging.  while we were sitting there we shared some pretty deep conversations about our feelings on transracial adoption.  i'm glad she feels comfortable with me and i hope she knows she can always talk to us about anything that's on her mind.  it never ceases to amaze me how wonderful she is.  she's done something i could never do and put her complete trust in total strangers.  while i know the love and devotion we have for dax, for her to trust that and believe in it is something so utterly unfathomable it's just heaven sent.

we chat often about divine intervention and how none of this could have ever come together without God's hand.  all of us know that the pieces of this adoption puzzle were just too far removed for it to have ever fit together without his loving touch.  we're so grateful that He built this relationship for us and know just how special it is.

we thank God daily for this bond we've had and continue to have with her and her family.  we've gotten to know them a little more with every passing month and just hope that our relationship will continue to flourish.  we cherish the time that we get to spend with them and always look forward to our visits.  it's helpful and healing for all of us to reconnect with each other face to face and to reassure any doubts, fears, or worries any one of us might have.  we communicate a great deal by e-mail and a little by text, but a face to face meeting is irreplaceable.

i treasure the time i get to see dax spending with them.  he's comfortable and at peace with us all together.  it's like when you have a best friend, and even though they are hundreds of miles away and you only get to see them once a year - when you get together it's like you don't even skip a beat.  the conversation picks up where it left off.  it's just like that.  it's easy and it's heartfelt and they have a chemistry that's apparent.

for daxton's birthday we worked with "L" to make him a book that was all about her.  we wanted him to have something tangible to tell him about where he came from.  we filled the pages with her favorite poems, songs, colors, foods, pictures, and anything we could think of.  we don't know if our relationship will always look like it does at this moment in time, and while we hope it stays that way, we're not naive to think that someday things might not always be exactly as they are right now.  we'll do everything in our power to keep it the same or better, but know that with time and seasons in life our relationships may change.

we picked out a 7x7 inch book size that's just perfect for tiny fingers, with pages that are sturdy and strong, so that he can flip through it and we can read to him about her anytime he wants.  it's small enough to take wherever he goes and something we hope he will always have.

so we're ever hopeful that our relationship will always be strong and open and we'll always be a part of each others lives.  we hope that our visits and communication will continue to be free flowing and that every passing year we will continue to grow and build upon the strong foundation that we have developed.

1 comment:

Ashley said...

SO thankful you are able to have that kind of relationship with his birthmother. I know exactly how you feel and pray that we'll be able to continue to have a close relationship with Kaylee's birthmom. Dax's life story book is a wonderful idea! He will treasure that!