"the wait"

looking back on it now, i can see how "the wait" for daxton was tender and sweet.  you're full of anticipation, excitement, and joy filled hope.

this week i am working on making a picture slide show of "how dax found us" for his meet and greet party on saturday.  several things really got me:

1. i am so glad we took so many pictures of "the wait".  it was a time we can show dax when we were preparing for his arrival and we celebrated each hurdle we went through.
2. we really celebrated a lot.  there was the completion of his nursery, the completion of the initial paperwork, the approval for the formal application, the completion of the formal application, the completion of so many books and classes, the completion of the home study, just checking everything off of the list.
3. "the wait", while it seemed long at the time has really melted away.  i don't remember all of the sadness and longing so much as i remember the fact that "the wait" - especially the filling out of the applications - helped will and i learn more about each other and grow ever closer together.  we clung to each other during the process, the failed match, and then ultimately the unknown of meeting dax for the first time.  "the wait", while it was so terrible awful at the time was such a magically wonderful thing.

if you are going through "the wait" right now, don't stick your nose up at me or make a mean face through your computer screen.  i see you doing it right now, just to spite me.  it's so true, "the wait" is something you'll cherish one day when it's all said and done.  enjoy it, treasure it, relish in it.  it will be over before you know it.

happy belated heart's day

this past weekend we had the honour of visiting with daxton's birth mother and brother.  we met them at the local mall again and decided we'd just hang out and catch up.  we correspond weekly via email, but there's nothing like a face to face visit to show you how big the dinosaur has gotten!  we arrived right on time and sat in the main corridor looking to see if we saw "L" and "D2".  all of the sudden i heard someone calling my name.  i was looking all around (looking a fool i am sure) and did not see anyone.  then, finally coming towards me was "L" with a huge grin on her face.  she'd gotten a new hair style and i hardly recognized her.  she looked good.  she looked great.  it was great to see her smiling face and looking like she was at peace.  we gave each other a big hug and i got daxton out of the stroller so she could hold him.  she was very surprised how big he'd gotten since december!  we made our way over to a cafe table where "D2" was seated working on a puzzle.

"D2" gives bashful smiles, but smiles a lot.  he was happy to see us and anxious to get to see his brother again.  he told us all about a puzzle he was working on and what he'd been up to lately.  he wanted to help feed daxton when it was time for his bottle and did a good job helping daxton eat his supper!  he entertained us with a balloon and some stories.  he has a great personality and is so friendly and out going.  he definately has traits that we hope his little brother shares.

"L" had a present for daxton and a card for us.  it really made our heart melt.  our card said:  "love the way you look at life - love the sweet difference you make in mine."  it was good to have that validation that so many adoptive parents long for.  just some sort of confirmation that you're doing the right thing, and that she's happy with this decision.  she gave daxton a sweet little outfit with a bib and socks.  too cute!  we had a couple of things for them as well, so we all sat around the table opening gifts.  it makes us feel good to give them things that they might like - just to brighten up their day a little and let them know we were thinking of them.

the sweetest things from the visit were:
1.  when daxton's passie fell to the ground and will headed off to the restroom to wash it.  "D2" did not know he'd gotten up since he was involved with his sandwich and a balloon.  when he looked up and noticed will was gone he said:  "where'd his dad go?" (pointing to daxton).  made me so peacefully happy.  swoon.

2.  when we got back to their place to drop them off for the night, "L" insisted on hugging will and i two times.  made will over the moon ecstatic to have easy flowing conversation with her and a night capped off with hugs.  so sweet.

we're blessed to be in this open relationship where we can make sure daxton knows he's got love coming at him from every angle.  we're also blessed to be in an open relationship where we can carry on easy conversations with "L" and "D2" and just know that we can say whatever is on our mind.  we're blessed to experience things as a group and to keep them involved in the best way we can.  we're blessed to have such a wonderful extended family.

3 months

it's been three months since daxton was born.
it's been three months since this sweet boy found his way into our lives.
it's been three months since our hearts grew exponentially with a love we never knew.

daxton's personality is shining through.  he loves to giggle at our funny faces, mommy's singing (america house originals - defined as any song husband and i make up that has our own unique words), tickling, and playing pee-pie.  he has the most adorable laugh and will sometimes belly laugh so hard that he closes his eyes while he is laughing.  he has a happy disposition and loves to be around people.  he loves people and loves being the center of attention.

he's started stretching out his little fingers and just this week started to grasp hold of things.  he loves a little monkey blanket (thanks daniele) and held on to it with both hands tonight!  he pushes off with his feet and loves to kick, kick, kick!  he loves to give the floor a good stomping while he lays on his back on his play mat.  one afternoon while i was working i heard this noise, which i assumed was the dog doing something and i looked over to my side to see him stomping one foot on the floor.  he is still not a huge fan of the tummy time, but we think the acid reflux still plays a role in that.  he does not push himself up with his arms/hands yet, but he will hold the pose when placed that way.  he loves to look around and is seriously checking out everything. 

he sadly recognized the tv and computer monitor this month.  i keep his back to the tv and when he was turned around he was fixated on the screen.  this is when we knew it was imperative for daxton to have a bedtime and go night night in his own bed.  daxton now goes to bed every night at 9:30.  he gets a story time, zipped up in his sleep sac, and the little lamb set on ocean sounds and goes right to sleep.  we're all a lot more relaxed now that he has a bed time and we have some down time.  it was hard to put him in his own room, but we're glad we did it now.  each morning when i go get him from his crib he greets me with a happy smile that lights up my world.

it's been three months of 662 diaper changes.
it's been three months of 677 bottles.
it's been three months of cuddling, rocking, and loving on our boy.
it's been three months of the purest joy you'd ever know.