Tuesday, September 17, 2013

birthday reflection reconnection

day to day life is busy and it's hard.  when we look back on the days, and especially the week it's difficult to see how we got from point A to point B, but somehow we always do - and the time has just flown.  during the business of the day to day it's easy to overlook what's important.

recently will and i have had some struggles in finding time to spend with each other alone.  it's hard when our relationship began in 1996 and coasted on through the majority of 2011 with just the two of us at the center to all of the sudden change gears and shift the focus to another human being.

don't get us wrong - we wanted to grow our family - we got down on our hands and knees and cried out to God for a family - but just living with each other alone for fifteen years afforded us lots of "us" time that no longer exists, and not a lot of room to learn how this new time sharing would look.  so this year, for my birthday we made it a priority to have lots of "us" time.  really a gift to all of us to ensure that mommy and daddy stay solid as a rock.  we know we're no good for dax if we're spent and lately we were getting pretty close to running out of gas, understanding, and patience.

this past weekend will and i celebrated my birthday by going out on two date nights that he set up for us.  the weekend included zero work and all time spent on togetherness.  will took me to adult places, places without high chairs, places that were the opposite of toys r us.  we let our hair down and acted like something other than parents - mommies without diaper bags.  friday night will and i went to a very "hip" and modern bar called "fox liquor bar" located in the basement of a building in downtown.  it was some place a person under 21 would never be allowed.  we felt pretty preppy and old when we first got there, but after some other "nerds" started arriving, we settled in.  (we try to be "cool", but we are pretty giant nerds.)  after a few cocktails and a cheese plate we headed over to "bida manda" (a laotian restaurant) by foot.  it was so fun to walk through the streets of town arm in arm, just like we used to do.  we stopped to take stupid pictures and just be silly.  our reservations were accepted a few minutes early and our waitress was super personable.  she made recommendations after our prompting and scored me the last bowl of crispy pork belly soup.  the place lived up to my palate's expectations and we sat on red metal chairs and talked for hours.  the night drew to an end with two macaroons on a slate with a candle and singing from my husband.  we shared our last few bites filling stuffed on tasty food, drink, and reconnection.

saturday night we went out again.  this time we headed to durham's "mateo" for a night of tapas.  we drove around the city and then took some touristy photos on a walk.  once we were seated at our table we began ordering tapas and drinks and the food started to flow and so did the conversations.  we chatted about all sorts of things that have been on our minds lately and really enjoyed each other's company.  we were there for hours, with never a lull in the back and forth.  we discussed where we've been, how things have changed, and where we hope to go.  i only used my linen napkin to wipe my eyes about three times.  its so good to have a husband that supports you in your every wish and desire and longs for nothing but your happiness.  it's always a good birthday when we're together.

so, we're vowing for more date nights and more conversation that does not include talk about "pao poo" aka. poop.

so thankful for another year with my boys.


Ashley said...

We're finding that we have to be very intentional about making time for each other, too. It's so important! Glad you had a good birthday- sounds fun! Love the goofy pictures!

Cat's Litterbox said...

Love this post! Glad you had time to reconnect, it's hard to do. Happy Birthday!!

beth said...

Adrianne and Will, if there is one thing I can say to you as parents it is what you have discovered. YOU MUST MAKE ADULT TIME. I know it seems hard and you don't want Dax to think you do not want him with you but you HAVE to do it. If you remember when we were little Mom and Dad had adult time a lot because of the sorority events. Ok maybe not as much as they WANTED with three kids but they did get to travel the world together with out us in tow. That is why I try now not to feel so needy when James is with Chris. Mike and I need our alone time too, so I now choose to look at it as free babysitting as opposed to having to give up my son various days a week. You will both be better parents, and a great example of a husband and wife for James if you continue to make this a priority. It doesn't always have to be expensive either, sometimes just alone time to Target (ok so that kinda nixes the not expensive) or a picnic or just a drive can do a world of good.