opening up

it's hard to start opening yourself up, but sometimes things just start to flow. i went to the grocery store tonight to pick up some prescriptions and to stock up on some pantry items. i went through my list, getting everything i was searching for - up one aisle and down the next. when i was almost done i headed to the the pharmacy counter to pick up some meds and found myself into a deep conversation with the pharmacist about adoption. she talked to me about how she and her husband had adopted a child through the foster care system in wake county and while they were in the mandatory class they were with other parents who were adopting infants. i guess from everything we'd read before we thought we could not find a baby locally, and thought we would at least have to search in another state.


i guess some of my fear on the topic is that having a local birth parent the possibility that the birthmother could somehow come into our lives at some point and try and take the baby away from us. somehow that seemed like a lot less of a concern the further away from our home town the baby comes from. i know it’s probably not a real concern since whatever adoption we pursue would be a legal adoption with a bunch of paperwork, but it has always haunted us.

i think we need to investigate this further, and open up to some other possibilities that we had really not previously considered.