the light

at the end of this tunnel - there is light.

this past week was a roller coaster of emotions.  we were excited that we were finally getting into the nitty gritty of adoption and really sinking our teeth into the nuts and bolts of the process - laying everything out.  but with doing all of that came stress about the process.  we were never stressed about the end result.  see, for us this is finally a sure thing.  we've had positive pregnancy tests before, but could never let ourselves get excited about them since our babies never had heart beats.  but now, there is light.  there is a promise that at the end of this research, at the end of this journey, will be the beginning of our family.

we talked with another hopeful family last night.  they are "paper pregnant" and have been through all of the paperwork and home studies and are in the wait game now.  they were excited, enthusiastic, informative, caring, genuine, and so helpful.  they answered all of our questions and openly told us their story and why their agency worked for them.  it was so encouraging to hear their process and where they are now. 

after the phone call with them last night, will and i talked for hours.  there were things we had never thought of that came up in their conversation.  (i am sure we will have more of these moments after the informational meetings, the home study, and once the baby finally comes.)  but, we'd never thought of having the option to select anything about our birth mother's history.  we knew we wanted to be completely open about the baby that GOD felt was destined to be raised by us.  we did not want to limit either sex or skin tone, and were open to what ever baby was led to our arms.  we never dreamed there would be questions about how tolerant we'd be about our birth mother's use of cigarettes, illegal drugs, alcohol, or any mental illness.  it's just something we did not realize we could play any part in.  definitely something to think about.

will was running a bit late last night.  he knew we had the important phone call - and we were both in dire need of caffeine to make it through the rest of the day.  we'd spoken on im earlier and decided that i'd be ready when he got home and we'd run into down town wake forest to pick up our favorite coffees.  i was worried when he was not home by 6:45.  however, around 7:10 he waltzed in with a huge smile on his face, a bouquet of flowers in one hand, and a red box movie in the other.  my heart melted.  it never fails.  when times are tough, or i have a bad day, bad week, bad half hour - will is there to cheer me up, lift my head, brighten my mood, and keep me going.  gotta love this husband.

so, in the end - there is light at the end of this tunnel.  for once - we are on the track that will most certainly lead to parenthood.

my sweet granny (mom's mom) mailed us a packet of information from a bible study she attended a few weeks back.  she wanted us to have this document about ways that GOD can help you to manage stress.  we always turn our troubles over to GOD, but sometimes are a little impatient with his plans.  i hope to read the things granny has highlighted here to help keep us focused while on this journey.

these are the gorgeous flowers my sweet husband brought home last night.

we have to admit we were both nervous for the phone call.  neither one of is is extroverted, and both found ourselves jittery with anticipation like the night before Christmas when we placed the call tonight.  we are both just so excited to be moving on our adoption plan, the phone call just made it so much more real than anything else has to date.

after the call - we both felt relieved and really well informed.  we cannot wait to get more information about the agencies, attend the workshops/informational meetings, and get everything lined up so we can sign papers.