the missing link

though at first i thought will's diagnosis of chiari malformation and syringomyelia were derailing us from our adoption mission, i see now that they are the piece of the puzzle that was missing.


for so long we wondered - why can't God bless us with a baby of our very own?  we feel like we'd be good parents, and we love each other so much that we just want a family that's a piece of each of us.  however, as we learned more about chiari malformation, we learned that there is more and more scientific research being done to show that there is a link to this being a hereditary condition.


will's been a trooper.  he's dealing with pain, both physical and emotional, but he's strong and he's hanging in there.  he was the first one to make a comment that this diagnosis was the "missing link" to our adoption journey, what we did not know originally that makes things fall into place now - the reason why God's plan for our family was to be made whole with a baby that was adopted.


so, its not that we've been derailed, but that we're on track more now than ever before & we now know why we are here, why our family starts with a baby that does not have a mommy and daddy to raise it, and why we were meant to love that baby with all our hearts and souls.

research

we've been derailed here lately.  though we've still been working on saving funds for our adoption bank, we've gotten side tracked on our research.  we've both been working overtime lately and will has had some issues with some back pain that has led to a lot of dr. visits.  however, both of us still agree that our number one priority is to stay on track for adoption paperwork to be filed for 2011. 


this past week i emailed children's home society of NC for information on their infant adoption program.  i emailed back and forth with a representative for a few days and got a letter on their wait list.  at this time they are supporting open adoptions, which are really not where we want to go for our first adoption, so i asked her to reconfirm that is their only option at this time, before we cross them off the list.  they currently have a 3-6 month wait list to be involved in their regular wait program which takes between 12 -18 months for placement.  their program, from what i know, sounds good, except for the open adoption allowance.  we may just be too jealous to go down that path just yet.

opening up

it's hard to start opening yourself up, but sometimes things just start to flow. i went to the grocery store tonight to pick up some prescriptions and to stock up on some pantry items. i went through my list, getting everything i was searching for - up one aisle and down the next. when i was almost done i headed to the the pharmacy counter to pick up some meds and found myself into a deep conversation with the pharmacist about adoption. she talked to me about how she and her husband had adopted a child through the foster care system in wake county and while they were in the mandatory class they were with other parents who were adopting infants. i guess from everything we'd read before we thought we could not find a baby locally, and thought we would at least have to search in another state.


i guess some of my fear on the topic is that having a local birth parent the possibility that the birthmother could somehow come into our lives at some point and try and take the baby away from us. somehow that seemed like a lot less of a concern the further away from our home town the baby comes from. i know it’s probably not a real concern since whatever adoption we pursue would be a legal adoption with a bunch of paperwork, but it has always haunted us.

i think we need to investigate this further, and open up to some other possibilities that we had really not previously considered.

first things first

when you first decide you want to adopt there is a lot of research that has to take place.  you first need to decide what type of child will work best for your family.  will and i feel like we are meant to be parents, we have no desire to narrow things down past this point.  however, we both think that for our first child we really hope to be blessed with an infant.  some parents long for a boy or a girl, or a child that will look like them, but we just want a baby to love.  we think we have something to offer a baby no matter what gender, nationality, or any other criteria.  since we do not have any other children, we really do not have to take anyone else's feedback into our decision.  we know a baby will be an adjustment for the dogs, since they are our babies now, but we know with time they will love the baby as they love each other.


we hope to take this year to do a lot of investigation.  we want to talk to other parents who have had successful adoptions, so we know what path we should invest our energies into.  there are thousands of agencies on the child welfare government run site, and we just do not know where to start.  we hope someone's success story can point us in the right direction.  we also hope to learn from others what they wish they had known when they got started.  we know we have a lot to learn in this department, and we can't wait to have some schooling.


we also hope to read a ton of books, blogs, and anything else we can get our hands on, so that when we decide which agency we are going with, we feel confident that we have all of the knowledge we need to raise a healthy and happy adopted baby.

2010 - a year of research

2010 is a year of research. we turned over a new leaf with the mailing of our christmas card for '09, and went public with our mission to adopt. we've been trying to start a family for almost 6 years now. in some ways it seems like its been a terribly long road, and in some ways it seems like it was just yesterday when we got the first positive pregnancy test. the almost 6 years of our life when we struggled to have a baby of our own became all consuming and culminated in a seemingly sad year for '09. in one way it was deeply depressing because, despite trying, we never conceived in '09, even with infertility treatments. however, in another way it was amazingly wonderful that will and i ended up on the same page and decided that the path for our life is adoption.